Evolution is a Cruel Master

Today was a tough day. I was homesick again today to the point that working was nearly impossible for about half the day; I don't think it could have been much worse without it driving me to hop on a plane back to Tucson. I was wondering whether this was all one (really) big mistake. Of course, I can't really turn back the clock now, regardless of what my old manager said before I left (effectively, if it didn't work out he'd let me come back - but he isn't in direct control of that).

I'm logically convinced this is the right thing to do, and that there's nothing fundamentally bad about my new situation. Yet, my emotions are driving me to return home (i.e., to Tucson). I've been pondering this apparent quandary.

I've concluded that I can probably blame evolution for my current state. : ) From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense for people to form a connection with a place they have successfully survived for a significant period of time (their home). This place has consistently filled their shelter, food, and social needs, so evolutionarily, the advantage would go to people who were smart enough to stay in such a place. The problem, I think, is that this evolutionary drive (like others) is "enforced" through emotion; knowing logically that a new place will also fill those needs only appeases the drive to return in a limited fashion. Evolution is also to thank for the obvious impact separation from one's spouse has.

I don't say that "evolution is to thank" entirely sarcastically. I like being close to Kim and actively wanting to be around her is indeed a good thing; would you truly look forward to seeing your spouse when you got home if the separation wasn't slightly unpleasant? The trouble comes in when you're apart for longer than usual.

So, my defensive strategy before she can come up permanently is multi-pronged:

• Make some friends here. I'll be looking for D&D, hiking, and/or bowling groups (possibly within Microsoft) to help give me both something to look forward to and add some structure to my life (I'm healthier when in a routine).
• Resume reading a book chapter a night as regularly as possible with Kim.
• See if we can get the cello and a snake or two up to me in the next couple of weeks.
• Buy a house or (if our current prospect and Kim's house-hunting trip don't yield results) get a short-term rental -- getting out of temp housing and having a real place to call home would be therapeutic. Plus, living directly across from Microsoft doesn't provide enough of a physical separation from work for me.
• If all that doesn't fill up my time, I've got non-work technical reading as well as some mathematical programming projects I would enjoy doing (e.g., modeling the skeleton of a prickly pear pad).

That list and this post is probably as much for me as for anybody else, but thanks for following along. I hope you all are doing well!